I played sports through my junior year of high school, even though I kinda hated sports and wasn’t particularly good at them. In my worst moment — and this is one of those humiliating teenage memories that is buried deep, deep, deep in my brain that occasionally pops up when I’m driving down the freeway to say, “REMEMBER WHEN YOU DID THIS FUCKING THING? ” — I took her to a high school dance who couldn’t go with her because he was grounded. We had strategies for how we’d eventually get women to kiss us — and, holy shit, dare we even speak of it? He’d be super smug, not letting on that he was, in all likelihood, still very bad at it.
But countless high school movies had told me that girls like jocks, so I kept it up until I realized I could work after school instead and use the money to go see more misleading high school movies. She moped about his absence the whole time, and I thought I was getting somewhere. The thing is, she’d said relatively early on that it wasn’t happening. And then when she didn’t change her mind, I’d decided she was evil and was toying with me. She was just dealing with a lunatic who couldn’t take a hint. Sex is a bigger deal to people who haven’t had it yet than it is to people who have.
As it turns out, being “cool” can be pretty bad for your health.
Now don’t get me wrong, we all know that super serious couple that’s been dating for what seems like forever, but then again we have those bfs and gfs who break up/make up every other day.Girls began consistently paying attention to me in my mid-20s, when I started coming into my own as a writer. This isn’t to say it’s not a huge and important part of life.I noticed a trend: a girl would find me mildly amusing, then would read my blogs or articles, and then would suddenly be I, like virtually everyone, had one girl who I really, really liked, and who liked to be around me, but who wasn’t particularly attracted to me. But it’s certainly not the end goal of a relationship.Levine’s description of his high school self (“I had disgusting long hair and shorts down to my knees..I desperately wanted to be Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam”) leads me to believe he was one of those hippie bank geeks who only talked about the meaning of life and his band.