At this point, it's easy as pie to tell when he's being weird because he's working too much or because he's kind of pissed off at you because of something you said or if he needs help because he's probably an alcoholic who won't admit it.Three very, very different things that are handled three very, very different ways, but at least you know! He's not going to take you to some crappy hellhole you hate on your first date.There really isn’t much room for baby steps anymore. Seeking friends first, to me, says, “I’m not ready to handle a relationship or engage in the things involved with having a romantic partnership.” It also makes me think those people are just looking for attention or an ego stroke.Saying that you want to be friends first sounds acceptable and reasonable.It feels great for a short term but it distracts them from really knowing each other on an intimate level.Sex is an expression of intimacy and commitment for each other so it will do well if one works on being friends first.
The overlap in what we want from both friends and partners is actually quite significant.
If I was of a cynical nature.....this day and age, I would say after you've done a background check, credit check, googled him and searched his facebook and twitter accounts.......then, I'm just being a smart aleck........ He liked me the whole time and I just viewed him as a friend.
Why not just ask if he wants to get dinner or something? This was 1976, and I can't remember how long we left it before we started 'dating' (we don't really do 'dating' in England) but I think it was less than four weeks before we started playing doctors and nurses. My husband and I were friends for a week before we started dating.
Also, will you both be comfortable remaining friends if he isn't interested in more?
If you do decide to go ahead and pursue it, make sure you have thought things out so you know the possible risks/rewards. If you feel he is someone you'd like to date then I don't see the need to wait. What sign do you expect to see that will make it okay?